Two steps forward

Diva took her first steps today! I cannot believe how amazing it feels to see my baby take her first steps. When Tiny was little she took hers at daycare. There are days that the dishes and laundry get to me and I wonder why I chose to make this my life and the baby is pulling things out of a box faster than I can put them in and then I pull the box away from her to take it downstairs and I turn around and she's walking after me. It was only two steps but that qualifies as walking. These are the moments that make every headache and heartache of parenting that much duller. These are also the moments that hurt so sharply because you know you will never get them back. This child is never going to take her first steps again. But what wonderful steps they were.

Tomorrow is my birthday. Three hours until the day I turn 24 years old. I'm not excited the way I used to get because I don't really expect much. Tiny won't remember it's my birthday until I tell her, even though I told her twice today and once yesterday that it was coming. Michael won't be sending me anything because I'm going down to see him on Wednesday so he'll just save it. His mom will do something and it'll probably be wonderful but it's hard to get excited. Michael has always made my birthday so special that it's hard to not be with him tomorrow.

I've been busy around the house with painting and lawn care and meeting the new neighbors. A little girl moved in next door that is in first grade with Tiny and I'm very excited for her to have a new friend. Growing up I had a best friend 2 blocks away and it was so awesome to just be able to walk/bike/rollerblade to her house whenever I wanted. So many of my formative years are filled with memories of watching Adventures in Babysitting and peeing in the sink downstairs (it was too far to go upstairs, or so we thought) and trying on her mothers teddies when nobody was home. I used to pack up all my dollhouse furniture and we would smash everything into as small a space as possible and pretend that they lost their house and had to move into a tiny apartment and crawl over the furniture to get around. We would listen to her Judds tape and sing along. She was the first person I ever knew who had a water bed and we would make each other laugh just to get the waves going. I really hope Tiny is able to form that sort of friendship with someone soon.